too many shades to count them

vampireapologist: actually when I was in 8th grade and obsessed with twilight my master plan as a...

Mon, 25 Jun 2018 21:52:48 -0500

actually when I was in 8th grade and obsessed with twilight my master plan as a twilight vampire was to sit around in famous shipwrecks like the super deep ones where they can only send robots with cameras from their submarines and when they sent one down i’d be sitting there, pretending to drink out of an old tea cup you know for the drama of it all and the guys in the submarine would know what they saw and that it was real footage but who else would believe them? no one important.

but it didn’t stop there. at the next party they threw to celebrate one of their latest finds, some museum-y banquet idk I was 13, I was going to show up. I was going to show up and make eye contact with them one at a time from across the room and they were going to lose their goddamn minds and then before the volturi could catch wind i was gonna be back in the ocean. how could they find me?

the drama. the theatrics. i can’t believe i didn’t realize i was gay right then but that’s another story, also involving vampires,

Photo

Mon, 25 Jun 2018 21:51:39 -0500

ravencrantz: me: hey tumblr why won’t you show me my notifications tumblr: bold of you to assume...

Mon, 25 Jun 2018 21:49:46 -0500

ravencrantz:

me: hey tumblr why won’t you show me my notifications

tumblr: bold of you to assume people are interacting with your posts

lostentirely: inbox: ppl are ignoring me like im rob kardashian who

Mon, 25 Jun 2018 21:48:54 -0500

lostentirely:

inbox:

ppl are ignoring me like im rob kardashian

who

samaxsonvevo:if you hated pink and/or blue as a kid because of the forced implication of rigid...

Mon, 25 Jun 2018 21:47:08 -0500

samaxsonvevo:

if you hated pink and/or blue as a kid because of the forced implication of rigid gendering of things that you knew you didn’t want to be a part of and as a kid you took it out on the colour but were able to embrace the colour(s) divorced from the bullshit as you grew up and were able to make your own choices about colour and now feel much more free to like pink and/or blue clap your hands

How Food Looks Before It’s Harvested.

Mon, 25 Jun 2018 21:40:47 -0500

biochromium:

pr1nceshawn:

Sesame Seeds

Cranberry

Pineapple

Peanut

Cashew

Pistachio

Brussel Sprouts

Cacao

Vanilla

Saffron

Kiwi

Pomegranate

exactly 1 minute ago i had absolutely no idea what the plants sesame seeds and peanuts came from look like and i am shocked and surprised

themodernsouthernpolytheist: deplorabation: sensicalabsurdities: sheabutterlovin: sapphiredoves: ...

Mon, 25 Jun 2018 21:40:07 -0500

themodernsouthernpolytheist:

deplorabation:

sensicalabsurdities:

sheabutterlovin:

sapphiredoves:

If I mispronounce your name because it is foreign to my tongue, correct me.

I don’t purposefully allow the accents of your name to fall flat on my tongue like the European English demands or the language to sound chopped and misheard.

If I don’t say your name correctly, don’t shrug and say it’s ok because people have been doing it all your life. Your mother worked hard to name you that name, with all its syllables and apostrophes and hyphens and inflection.

I don’t want to disrespect your heritage, your culture, your great grandmother or grandfather and their struggle.

If I mispronounce your name, forgive me, but don’t let it happen again. Make sure everyone knows your name.

This

this also goes for chosen names

yes!!!! please correct me!!!!

All of this!!! And spelling!!

wingdingle: i-want-to-be-manhandled: fattyelizabeth: visenda...

Mon, 25 Jun 2018 21:38:17 -0500

wingdingle:

i-want-to-be-manhandled:

fattyelizabeth:

visendakonaa:

fashionf-u-c-ks:

None

I hate these but the last two weeks have been bad enough I can’t risk it lmao

not riskin’ nothin’

One of my best friends from high school is missing and it’s finals week so my last chance to bring up all my C’s. Can’t risk it. Not worth it.

im reblogging because this post fucking got me god damn it but also just so you know anyone who sees this im breaking the chain. this post is fake as hell. nothing bad will happen if you dont reblog it, dont fall into the same hole as me

dingdongyouarewrong: dingdongyouarewrong:my absolute favourite video on the internet is amy schumer...

Mon, 25 Jun 2018 20:20:05 -0500

dingdongyouarewrong:

dingdongyouarewrong:
my absolute favourite video on the internet is amy schumer telling a joke that she stole from an ellen degeneres standup show in the early 2000s TO ELLEN DEGENERES on HER SHOW and ellen making it perfectly clear that she k n o w s

here y’all go omg

africanaquarian: ororium-z: ororium-z: Let’s play a guessing game.Picture a woman in pop culture.-...

Mon, 25 Jun 2018 20:19:54 -0500

africanaquarian:

ororium-z:

ororium-z:

Let’s play a guessing game.

Picture a woman in pop culture.
- Largely well known and respected in her field of work by professionals and fans alike.
- Has a very recognizable voice.
- Married. He also works in the same field. His reputation is enough to rival her own, maybe even more successful than she is.
- Once suspected her husband of committing adultery. Sometimes seen as unsupportive, even by fans. His bum ass definitely doesn’t deserve her.
- Three children. The oldest is a daughter named after a color (protect her).
- T H I C C

Who am I talking about?

oh my god

gdayjohnkim:Forgot something. (via johnharlankim’s IG story...

Mon, 25 Jun 2018 20:18:37 -0500

gdayjohnkim:

Forgot something. (via johnharlankim’s IG story 6.24.18)

unlimited-shitpost-works: bitterfuckinglesbian: me showing up at heaven ready to ask god what the...

Mon, 25 Jun 2018 20:16:36 -0500

unlimited-shitpost-works:

bitterfuckinglesbian:

me showing up at heaven ready to ask god what the fuck all of that was

God:

Photo

Mon, 25 Jun 2018 20:15:53 -0500

godofavengers: One of my new friends: *uses there own slang that I have never used before in my...

Mon, 25 Jun 2018 20:14:48 -0500

godofavengers:

One of my new friends: *uses there own slang that I have never used before in my life*

Me subconciously:

thespectacularspider-girl: klubbhead: freakxwannaxbe: I feel...

Mon, 25 Jun 2018 20:14:22 -0500

thespectacularspider-girl:

klubbhead:

freakxwannaxbe:

I feel like I am being held hostage

I CAN’T STOP LAUGHING

He doesn’t blink through this entire thing

vampireapologist: i love jane eyre but honestly imagine being friends with that bitch. like imagine...

Mon, 25 Jun 2018 20:10:59 -0500

vampireapologist:

i love jane eyre but honestly imagine being friends with that bitch. like imagine trying to convince her to leave rochester and she’s like idk and you’re like he called u ugly???? he keeps his secret wife locked in the attic???? wake up???? and then you think she finally has it sorted out and she calls you a few months later like “his wife killed herself and burned down the house so it’s cool we’re getting married” like !!!!!!!!!!!! HOW DO YOU GO TO THAT WEDDING!!!!!!

daysundercover: welcome to another round of “what is the actual temperature”

Mon, 25 Jun 2018 20:04:10 -0500

daysundercover:

welcome to another round of “what is the actual temperature”

laundry

Mon, 25 Jun 2018 20:03:31 -0500

adultadhd:

huntyishrunkthekids:

i hear your point, but consider

NO.

Compelling argument tbh

Photo

Mon, 25 Jun 2018 20:02:29 -0500

derinthemadscientist: unpretty: unpretty: unpretty: unpretty: there’s something really...

Mon, 25 Jun 2018 00:30:12 -0500

derinthemadscientist:

unpretty:

unpretty:

unpretty:

unpretty:

there’s something really satisfying about the fact that sir arthur conan doyle was the most gullible motherfucker on the planet

sir arthur conan doyle: here is my oc, he is a super genius who solves all the mysteries using the power of deductive reasoning

also sir arthur conan doyle: i have deduced that these fairies are real as shit

sir arthur conan doyle: there’s only one way to determine if these fairies are real… i will give you girls these cameras, that i bought myself, and then i will develop the photos, so i know they haven’t been tampered with

some girls who took selfies in the woods with paper cutouts on hatpins: that seems reasonable

harry houdini, after showing his good friend how he got tricked by a con artist: so as you can see, anyone can make it seem as if they can talk to ghosts

sir arthur conan doyle: harry… i can’t believe you never told me you can talk to ghosts, for real, using actual magic

Doyle and Houdini’s relationship is the funniest thing in the entire history of the skepticism movement

Doyle was SO CONVINCED that Houdini had legit magic powers and could turn into smoke or some shit to escape things and Houdini was like “no seriously it’s a trick let me show you how it works” and Doyle was all “it hurts me that you won’t trust me with this secret”

If memory serves he eventually decided that Houdini was subconsciously magic and in denial